Saturday, March 17, 2007

Slop Design: Par-tay of Six

Six designers remain; Goil, She Who's Name We Do Not Speak (or SWNWDNS, for short), Erik, Matt, Andrea, and sweet, innocent Mikey "I will totally burn your house down" Adams.Like gays to Sunday Brunch, the remaining six designers converged upon the PDC. There, they were informed by Todd that their next challenge would be to design a party for Bacardí Limón. They drew paint-chips and broke off in two teams of three. One team consisted of Goil, Erik and Andrea while SWNWDNS, Matt and Mikey comprised the other. SWNWDNS was not pleased and immediately complained about Michael being really difficult to work with, "No matter what you do he's going to complain very loudly about something." Ain't that the pot calling the kettle a bitch...

Michael and Andrea went off to Town & Country Party rentals, Erik and SWNWDNS shopped for fabric at Pindler & Pindler, while Matt and Goil sampled menu selections at Wolfgang Puck. The following morning, Andrea and Michael arose before dawn and hit the Flower Market. Mikey wasted no time in diving in.

The end results could not have been more different. Andrea, Erik and Goil produced a room that may have served its function but really wasn't terribly pleasing to the eye. Their concepts were too abstract to execute well in the time allotted and with the $8500 budget. What started out as a giant chandelier of Bacardí Limón bottles ended as tall shelves with exposed light bulbs in the center. De-constructed chandelier, my ass. It just looked like a construction site.

In spite of constant bickering, Matt, Michael and SWNWDNS produced a room that was elegant, exclusive and functional.

In the White Room, all eyes were once again on Kelly's train wreck of an outfit. And what a train it was. With a giant pink fleurchon just above the knee and enough fabric to serve as a low-tech Rumba, it was an outfit that only an artsy-crafty macaroni gluer could truly appreciate.Thank you, Angela.

Meanwhile, in the Stew Room Goil went all Jan Brady on us and broke down. Frustrated by having been repeatedly ignored by Andrea and Erik he sought comfort wherever he could find it.The judges were not impressed with Andrea, Erik and Goil's room. Andrea got burned for selecting "furry" flowers. Erik boldly took credit for the bulk of the conceptual design as well as for "the big wall". Unfortunately, neither were well-received.

In spite of shirt cuffs that flared into the middle of next week, Erik manned-up and took responsibility for his team. At one point it seemed as though it could very easily have been Andrea's turn to go but alas, 'twas little Erik and his trick eyebrow who were sent packing.

Laz remains despondent to this day requiring hourly doses of Little Debbies and techno-music.

Best of luck, Erik. You will be missed (sniffle)...


Ms. Place said...

Well, Laz, dahling, we pretty well had a similar viewpoint again! Great visuals! I wish I had your talent for photoshopping. Loved the Angela Keslar connection. Kelly's outfleurchoned her, no doubt about it!

eric3000 said...

Great recap! I love your blog and the work you do over at Pink Navy!

Charlus said...

Well-done, Laz. I'm going to miss Erik and his eyebrow, too. And I love the idea of Michael as the Teletubby baby.

kbryna said...

i think andrea should have gotten the boot(s). though i am cool with furry flowers (if flowers come in furry, then flowers are supposed to be furry: judges, get in touch with Nature, please!!!) i thought andrea was the weakest link in that gaggle.

and i love erik, and he seems like a very decent person. i loved his designs, too.

also: when they all said Erik was "old-school," that wasn't a compliment, was it? but what does it mean to be an old-school designer?

The Team of TDB said...

I bow at the alter of Laz.

Dude, you are hysterical!